she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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