bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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