Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
