We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
