yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
