I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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