VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
