We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
