GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
