32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
