And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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