Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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