Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize