she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
