I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
not ubering you a puppy
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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