theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I think a kid would responsible me up
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
