is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
