I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
