I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
