There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Enjoy the penises
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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