So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
