sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just want to make out with him forever
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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