some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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