i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
