hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
