if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize