It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
