2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
