oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
