Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
it was like eating out sand paper
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
