also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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