So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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