i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It's blow job season.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
