He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my vag is so smooth its legendary
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
love makes seman taste better
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
