I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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