Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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