I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Are my feet made of real feet?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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