So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
