Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
