im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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