She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
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