The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
