They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
