Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
