if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
