***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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