Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize