Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
