playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize