My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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