I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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