Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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