I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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