As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
