Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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