he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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