well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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