It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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