my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
