Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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